I've stopped smoking again. Cold turkey, just like that. 2 and 1/2 weeks now and now only occasional spasms of pure need. Normally at about 5 O Clock in the afternoon.I resist of course and have another biscuit. Soon I'll have to give up biscuits, donuts and all sugary foodstuffs as well, before I feature on a channel 4 documentary where they have remove the back wall of the house to get me out. I do feel however like I've left a club that I was a member of for 30 years.All be it a club that was killing me slowly. However this club was where you picked up the gossip and where you could legitimately take a break without people questioning the need. Not that I work for an oppressive type of organisation , it just feels less right to loiter around outside without a cigarette in hand.Also it still retains that element of " couldn't care less " and a small whiff of danger. I will miss it, though not the wheeziness and shortness of breath or the smell or the yellow teeth and most certainly not the financial aspect. I will miss smoking because it means I have somehow become more sensible and responsible. Which I know in itself is a pretty stupid and childish attitude to take.
My stubbornness seems to increase and I get pretty dogmatic when I stop smoking, whether less oxygen getting my brain in some way dopes me and keeps me mellow, spo i need to learn to reign in the madness a little and relax again.
I will keep you posted....
Dogmatic, you, Nah!!
ReplyDeleteThey won't need to remove the door to get you out, the roof is falling off anyway, they'll just airlift you out of the gaping hole.