Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Is It safe ?

I live with a writer, a statement that will send chills down the spine of other such people who have to endure the trials and tribulations of being a writers mate. We should have a support group with buddies who can advise you when all appears to be lost ( Similar to the AA way of doing things).

Picture the scene :

Writer suggesting to mate : Can you read this and give me an honest opinion.

Mate : Sure

Mate reads the material in silence.

Mate : That’s very good

Writer : You didn’t really like it then

Mate : Huh ?

Writer : Well you didn’t laugh and its supposed to be funny.

Mate : It is very funny

Writer : Why didn’t you laugh then.

Mate: I don’t normally laugh out loud at stuff I read, it makes me seem mad.

Writer : So its not that funny then.

Mate : Is this a test ? I thought you wanted my honest opinion.Its funny.

Writer : But not laugh out loud funny.

Mate : No

Writer : I won’t finish it then.

Mate : Why not ?

Writer : Cause you don’t like it

Mate ; Now I’m really confused, where did I say I didn’t like it.

Writer : I just know you don’t.

Mate : I’m not reading anymore of your material ever again. Leave me alone , this is a form of torture.

Writer : All I wanted was an honest opinion.

They go separate ways in the house.

This is not an unusual occurance in a house where a writer is in residence. And yet the writer will keep coming back looking for your opinion. I am afraid to say there is no way out unless you have for all your relationship either been blind or illiterate. You must answer and you must be honest. It really helps if your partner can actually write otherwise all that lying can get quite tedious. Not that I have that problem thank god.

I must admit that critiquing for my wife makes me feel like Dustin Hoffman in that scene from marathon man. You know the one the one where he’s be asked if its safe and he doesn’t know what hes been asked about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG5Qk-jB0D4

More to follow……

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Stopped Again

I've stopped smoking again. Cold turkey, just like that. 2 and 1/2 weeks now and now only occasional spasms of pure need. Normally at about 5 O Clock in the afternoon.I resist of course and have another biscuit. Soon I'll have to give up biscuits, donuts and all sugary foodstuffs as well, before I feature on a channel 4 documentary where they have remove the back wall of the house to get me out. I do feel however like I've left a club that I was a member of for 30 years.All be it a club that was killing me slowly. However this club was where you picked up the gossip and where you could legitimately take a break without people questioning the need. Not that I work for an oppressive type of organisation , it just feels less right to loiter around outside without a cigarette in hand.Also it still retains that element of " couldn't care less " and a small whiff of danger. I will miss it, though not the wheeziness and shortness of breath or the smell or the yellow teeth and most certainly not the financial aspect. I will miss smoking because it means I have somehow become more sensible and responsible. Which I know in itself is a pretty stupid and childish attitude to take.

My stubbornness seems to increase and I get pretty dogmatic when I stop smoking, whether less oxygen getting my brain in some way dopes me and keeps me mellow, spo i need to learn to reign in the madness a little and relax again.

I will keep you posted....